014: How to Find the Personality of Your Personal Brand

In this episode we are going to be talking about how to identify the real personality of your personal brand.

When I was living in LA which seems like a lifetime ago, it was less than 10 years ago but it feels like ages, I was doing commercial acting. I would come to set, and I would do some hosting audition, or an audition for a commercial or something like that. Often times what I would be instructed to do during this audition, is to do it again. The same audition, but this time, with more personality.

Now, this was a good thing when you heard that when you were doing an audition. Here’s how auditions went. You would often walk into the room, you’d be handed a script, or sometimes you would get the script in advance, and you would have it roughly memorized or completely memorized. Then you would walk in when your name was called into the audition room, and you would present what they asked you to do in the best way that you knew how.

Now, if you were kind of terrible and they were just like, “Uh, there’s nothing we can do with this person.” They would just say, “Okay, thank you,” and then you’d be out the door. But, if they thought, “Hmm, this is something we could actually kind of work with,” then they would often ask for you to do it again but this time… and they would give a little tweak, a direction, if you will.

Sometimes they would say that they want you to do it with a little more of a certain emotion attached, or they want you to elongate a certain word. In this case what I often got was, “Would you do it again, but this time with more personality?” Well, at the time I was a beauty pageant contestant. When I think of beauty pageant contestants, and maybe you think this too, it’s often coming from a place of perfection. Like, absolute and total perfection. A beauty pageant contestant, you expect her to just look perfect, to sound perfect, to be perfect.

Now, of course we know that beauty pageant contestants are not perfect, like any other person is perfect, right? They are the same as everybody else, right? They have their highs and lows, they have their skills and weaknesses, and in beauty pageants it’s a completely different ballgame than commercial acting, okay?

Here I am in my audition. They say, “Do it again, more personality.” Well, the thing that I thought, like what many people think about personality was, I need to do it again but with a bunch of quirks. I need to make it quirky. Another thing that people often think is, “I need to make it louder. I’m going to make it really big, and make it huge,” you know?

But, personality is very different than either of those things, okay? Now, it might incorporate some of those things, but usually it has more to do with, now here’s the key, listen up here, your personal core values.

When you think about what you value, the things that are important to you, like what you would cancel everything else for this important thing. Or, you would be willing to bet on it if this were going to happen. Or, in a debate you believe this one thing. Those are your core values. Those are things that you value at your core. That is really where you can find your authentic personality for your personal brand.

A personal brand, similar to a company brand, has a list of characteristics that define them, or things that if somebody were to be describing your brand, they would use these characteristics to describe it. Those are kind of the adjectives or personal characteristics of it. But, then there are things that you value. These are things that are often not explicit. You don’t actually have to say them, but they do come up in how you behave, how you are, how you might be in any given situation.

What are your personal core values? Well, let’s take a look. What I believe is a great way to discover your personal core values, is through two main exercises. I do this when I do speaking gigs and things, workshops, when I’m helping a new host discover their personality.

We start with these two exercises.

The first is what I call, the utopian world. A world that is eutopic to you is one that is perfect. Like, in a utopian world where it’s so perfect, it’s probably not even realistic, okay? That is how perfect this world is for you. I want you to know, what is your perfect world? You need to know how you would define a perfect world, because that is then a part of what you value most, okay?

I want to give you an example. For me, a perfect world would be where everybody is serving, working really, in an area that they are wildly skilled at, and deeply passionate about. I believe that if everybody is serving the world from a place where they are wildly skilled, and deeply passionate, the world would be such an amazing place. We would all be so happy, because we’d be doing the things that we’re good at, and we’d be doing it for people we care about, and in a way that truly expresses something we’re passionate about. Plus, we would also be served by others in those ways, right?

When you go to the grocery store you would be meeting and interacting with somebody who loves to tell you all about fruit, or who like loves numbers, and is willing to check you out at the … I say willing because for me I’m like, “Ah, that wouldn’t be something I’d be good at,” you know? Like, willing to check you out. I always got confused. My family had a stand, a corn stand actually, like a lemonade stand, where we were selling sweet corn when I was growing up. It was not my highest and best use of my skill set. It just wasn’t. I wasn’t good at those things, right?

But, what I was good at, was talking with people. I loved meeting new people, and interacting with our neighbors that would come by. That was great for me. If this is a skill that you have, then that to me is like, “Ugh,” that’s the utopian world. When everyone’s operating in their gifts, right?

Now, imagine that, and take that example. Now that I know what my utopian world is, and perhaps yours is starting to come to your mind as well. You can now apply that to other situations. So, when you get into a debate with somebody, or when you have to stand up for what you believe, or in conversation with somebody. Now, your personal brand has things that it values, right? So you can tell by the way I described my utopian world, the things that I value are individual gifts. The things I value are working in your passion, right? These are things I value. And so, of course they’re going to make it into my utopian world, and yours will too.

Okay, the other thing that will help you to know what your values is actually the way that you think of people in general.

This is like a blanket statement that you might have about all people. What is something that you believe fundamentally, about all people, okay? Some people might say, “Well I fundamentally believe that all people are capable of personal growth. I believe that fundamentally, all people are able to change. I believe that fundamentally, all people have bad habits,” or whatever. You might say, “I believe that all people are moments away from road rage.” Or, “I believe that all people are just a, one amazing encounter away from love. True love.” These are just crazy examples to just kind of express and give you ideas for what you might be thinking about all people.

Let’s just imagine for a moment, that if you were to believe that everybody is just a breath, a step, just an inch away from absolutely true love. Well then, how you show up in your conversations will likely include that as a value. If that’s your core value, then it’s likely that you value love, right? That’s something that says you value optimism, that you will value closeness, and hope for the future. Those are things that are part of your values because of that one statement.

Now, contrary to that, let’s say that you believe that all people are born with a negative mindset. Let’s just say that you think everybody’s born with a negative mindset. Well, how you show up in the world, and the personal brand that you are walking around with on a daily basis, is also going to communicate that. You’re going to find yourself in situations where when conversations come up and that’s what you default to, people are going to get it. They know where you stand, right?

Now, no matter what, your core values are your core values. It’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to say something that doesn’t truly and deeply apply, and get away with it. You know this because you’ve been in stores before that they say one thing and do another. Or, perhaps you’ve engaged with other service providers and you realize like, “Wow, they act like customer service is their number one core value, but yet they won’t answer their phone. Like, I can’t get a hold of them,” you know? That’s how you know, because it shows up in areas throughout how you’re engaging with people, right? Those core values are coming up. That’s why it’s so important to understand your core values, because then you’ll know how they can apply in other areas, okay?

Now, here’s what I want you to do. After you know your values, after you know, “Okay, this is what my personality values deeply.” Now, you’ve got to bring it into your everyday world, in the work that you do.

You will likely, after you engage with my brand for a certain amount of time, and by that I mean engage with me. Because, I am as a personal brand, I am my brand. My brand reflects who I am as a person. The same is true for you. If you have a personal brand, then whatever you are full of is going to be what overflows into your brand. So, your personal core values are also the values of your personal brand.

In those auditions when I was asked, “Okay Alycia, do it again but this time with more personality.” What they were actually asking for, and I wish I would have known this then, (If you could only go back, right? Hindsight, 20/20), what they were really telling me was: “We want to see more of who you are in the script.” By doing that I would showcase how I view people, and how I view the world, and what I think is unique and special about it. It has to come out through, either your unique isms, which we’ll talk about in a different episode. Your isms are what makes you, you. How you speak, and how you move, and how you laugh, and how you see the world. It comes out in those ways, but it also comes out in what you say, right?

If you are in conversation with people, let’s imagine a customer calls you up, or a client of yours calls you up and shares a grievance. Something that they’re just not happy about. They share with you something, they’re not happy.

However you view the world, your utopian world, and also how you view people in general, is the lens that you’re going to be receiving this information from.

When you set your core values and you understand how you view the world, and how you view people in general. Now, you’re able to have more wisdom behind how you show up in those interactions, right? Because now, you’ll be able to say … well, let’s say that you view the world as everybody is capable of change, and that no one does anything wrong on purpose, okay? Now you’re on the phone with somebody who has a grievance, you’re going to say, “Wow, help me understand this more. Of course I didn’t do this on purpose, but I would love to hear your side of it more,” because you’re really truly, deeply interested, right? That’s the difference, okay? It’s understanding your personal brand.

Here’s what I want you to do. I want you to take a few moments, and this does not have to take forever. Although, it can also. If it’s something you want to meditate on, really think through, then do it. But really, simple, simple is just what would the world be like if the world was perfect to you? If you could step out of this world and step into a world that was your utopian world with all the best of the best, what would that be like for you? Describe it. What’s it really look like?

Then, spend a few moments understanding how do you view people in general? If you had to generalize people, what would you say about them? Then, once you have these two things identified, the next step is to start to engage. Start to speak it. Quit running away from what you truly believe, right? If you are to truly believe something deeply, then every time you go on camera for an interview, you know what you stand for, you’re going to be attracting the people that agree with you. There are people out there that agree with you, right? And, you’re going to be repelling the people who disagree with you.

For a personal brand, that is vital. You really want to be attracting the people who align with your values, and you want to be repelling the people who disagree with your values. Because, that’s not your tribe, those aren’t your people, right?

You are going to be attracting the people, you want to be attracting the people who match your core values. They’re going to be your best people to work with, they’re going to be your best tribe members, the best people that you can sell to, that you can conversate with, that you can partner with. That is your tribe, and it’s because these people share your values. When you use your personality to attract people by engaging with your core values, and waving the flag. Let people know what’s important to you. When you do that, that is how you ultimately attract the people that are absolutely going to love you. I promise you, they’re going to love you.

Thank you so much for listening. I would be honored if you’d hop over to iTunes from your computer, and leave a five star rating and review. Tell me what you love most about the podcast, and what you’d like to see more of. That is how podcasts prosper, so I would be so grateful for your help.

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I’ll talk to you soon.